Growing up I have been lucky enough to have been blessed with some amazing friends. As I look back at each part of my life one or two pretty special people stick out in my mind.
There are your childhood friends whom you share your deepest secrets with and stay up until midnight sharing ghost stories. Then you have Junior High when boys enter the picture and you giggle with that special friend over the boy you have eyes for. Upon entering High School, friends become really important, and at times, limited. You start dating and perhaps start having issues with your parents and your friends may be all you have to confide in. College is a great time to meet new people and start some new friendships that will last a lifetime.
I can honestly say I have friends from each of these parts of my life. Some of these friendships have remained strong through the years and others have had their ups and downs, always returning to a good place eventually.
I never realized how much a friendship could be tested until I got married and had children.
I was the first one out of all my girl friends to get married and while many of my friends were still in college or trying to figure out their future I already had my life "all planned out."
I knew I wanted to get married and start a family pretty soon there after. I traded in my heels and vodka sodas for slippers and a glass a wine. My weekends consisted of spending time with John and our families and nights out at the bars became very limited. I loved my new life and everything that came with it. The only downside- missing my friends. They were all still enjoying the single life. It became harder and harder to keep in touch and unfortunately some of my friendships became nonexistent.
Losing contact with friends took on a whole new meaning when I became pregnant with Jordyn and even more so once she was born. I LOVE my single/ "non-mommy" friends but some of them just didn't understand that my life had changed. I wasn't able to pick up for the weekend and go on vacation. I didn't have the desire to go clubbing or go out drinking until the middle of the night. I was a wife now and more importantly a mom.
Don't get me wrong- I have some AMAZING friends who aren't married and do not have kids who have been supportive from day one. And although we don't see each other nearly as much, our friendship has remained just as close. But there were (and still are) some people that JUST DON'T GET IT. And please don't think I am sitting at home knitting every weekend. I love to go out with my girl friends and have a good time- it just isn't my first priority any more.
After having Jordyn I reconnected with some girls from High School that had also just had babies. I can not begin to tell you how important these people have become in my life. It has been so great to have friends that know EXACTLY what you are going through. They understand that your house isn't always going to be clean. They understand that some days your hair will look messy and your make-up will never get done. And they understand that at times all you need is someone to cry to about how your children don't listen and about how tired you are. They truly know what tired is.
I believe that every friend in your life is there for a different purpose. I have my friends that represent my childhood and all the memories from it. I have my friends I can call up to vent to about my husband and how much I HATE golf. Some girls friends are my walking buddies. Some, my coffee companions. Many of my friends represent my college years- some of the most amazing times of my life. Some will watch me raise my children. Some will hold my hand as life throws me its hardest times. And some will come and go- and that, I have realized, is ok. I can't hold on to the past- I can only look towards the future.
I used to think I needed TONS of friends to make me happy. But now I know that quality is so much more important than quantity. We all need friends, but in this case: perhaps less is more.
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